Even the happiest couples have conflicts, but despite the quarrels, some people manage not only to create strong relationships, but also to maintain them for many years. Family psychologists explain what their secret is.
1. PRAISE YOUR PARTNER IN PUBLIC
“Happy spouses are never tired of praising each other to friends, children, relatives and even colleagues,” explain psychologists. In unhealthy relationships, partners often criticize each other in conversations with others. Simple phrases like “My husband can fix anything for me” or “My wife makes the best dinners in the world” help maintaining a close connection between partners.
2. FIND TIME FOR EACH OTHER
In strong relationships, partners find time for each other every day. For example, they walk the dog together, talk for a long time when the children fall asleep, or watch TV series together.”
3. LAUGH TOGETHER OFTEN
“My husband and I laugh about something every now and then,” says psychologist Marie Land. “We can’t stay depressed for long, because one of us will definitely say or do something to cheer us both up.” Of course, sometimes you can’t do without serious conversations. But those couples who try not to take life too seriously and laugh more often have an easier time building healthy relationships.”
4. APPRECIATE EACH OTHER’S ADVANTAGES
“I see spouses all the time who complain endlessly about each other,” explains couples counselor and psychotherapist Aaron Anderson. — Most often we are talking about the most common problems that almost all couples face. In a healthy relationship, partners do not focus on problems and complaints, but pay attention primarily to each other’s positive sides and do not hesitate to exchange compliments.”
5. PUT YOURSELF IN YOUR PARTNER’S PLACE
"This helps them overcome the lack of understanding that sometimes occurs in any relationship," says couples therapist Kari Carroll. “Empathy is useful for resolving any conflict, and those of my clients who have it can tell their partner: “I may not agree with you here, but I can understand why you felt that way.” At the same time, the partner feels that he is listened to attentively, understood and appreciated.”
6. TELL YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU COME HOME
“Often, problems in relationships arise because one spouse does not understand how the other lives, or it seems to him that he is being ignored,” advises psychologist Samantha Rodman. “A simple call or text to let your partner know when you’ll be back from work or going out with friends will help him or her stop worrying about it and will further strengthen your relationship.”
“Flirting is a great way to show your partner you love and have a little fun too,” says Aaron Anderson. — Without him, relationships become gray and boring. In healthy relationships, partners continue to flirt with each other even years later.”
8. DEAL WITH RELATIONS HONESTLY
“Even during conflict, spouses do not scold each other and do not label each other,” explains psychotherapist Curt Smith. “I often hear how partners do not hesitate to make caustic comments and offensive remarks, and then brush them off as “just joking.” In a healthy relationship, partners always treat each other with love and respect."
9. PARTNERSHIP IN HOUSEHOLD DUTIES:
Modern relationships are often built on partnership in all aspects of life, including responsibilities at home and raising children. Women expect men to actively participate in shared activities and household responsibilities.
“Partners are able to admit their mistakes, apologize and put aside what happened in the past,” adds psychologist Marie Land. “The recent disagreements do not lead to emotional distance from each other and do not prevent them from having a good time together.”
It is important to remember that each person is unique and their expectations from a partner may vary. The key to a successful relationship is openness, communication and a willingness to meet your partner's needs. It is important to build relationships based on mutual respect, attention and support.